pervy snape-fancier

Happy birthday, lilyevans_snape!

I be a sneaky pirate ninja. I've been biting my tongue about this for several days instead of hinting, even resisting the considerable temptation when you remarked on the Sev/Reg drabbles about "Christmas come early". Hee.

Title: Cold Hands, Warm Hearts
Pairing/Characters: young Professor Severus Snape, Aurora Sinistra; brief mention of past Severus/Lily
Genre: Gen? Friendship? Whatever the het equivalent is of "pre-slash"?
Rating: PG
Words: ~3600
Summary: Oooooo, Severus, I think she likes you!
Warnings/Contains: Unbetaed, unBritpicked, not as snappily witty as my usual fare (hah! hear that? that's the sound of one's own horn tooting), just a random bit of fantasy I tried not to think too hard about (but still failed in some places; you know me).


( Cold Hands, Warm Hearts )

My husband and me, on playing Kingdom Hearts 2 (don't ask about my current screen name):

Stygian says:
and... it's shower time now that I pried myself away from plot.. grrr
stupid fighting alongside mickey, and then fighting alongside Axel, who sacrifices himself for Sora over his boy-love crush on Roxas [tl; dr on the wiki articles: Roxas is a kind of heartless mirror-image of Sora; Axel is a member of an organization devoted to controlling some dark monsters and basically trying to take over everything]

the problem with gourmet poutine says:
lol
trufax
i dunno, axel's kinda grown on me
he's annoying, but charming somehow
like Reno
red hair included

Stygian says:
yeah.. Axel is actually my favorite of the organization.. I mean, he was in the last one too, I think..
although I kind of liked Larxene's attitude..
but Axel is actually likable.. most of theorganization don't have much character development, is part of it.

the problem with gourmet poutine says:
true

Stygian says:
Axel, well, apart from him betraying the rebels, and then betraying the organization when they decide Roxas needs to die to make Sora whole so Sora can kill the heartless so the organization can get to kingdom hearts and all become real.... well, he's also kinda openly gay
probably never consumated, but he's totally in lurve with Roxas.
Roxas makes him feel all warm and squishy inside, as if he might actually be a real person

the problem with gourmet poutine says:
lol.
that couldn't possibly just be platonic?
not that i'm against slash goggles

Stygian says:
I dunno..

the problem with gourmet poutine says:
as you probably know
i'm just saying it's not normally like Disney to imply teh ghey

Stygian says:
Axel looks into Sora's eyes and sighs all dreamily before dying

the problem with gourmet poutine says:
hehehe

Stygian says:
so uhh... Sora = Harry, Roxas = Lily?

the problem with gourmet poutine says:
gawd, i already went there
i refrained from typing "look at me"

Stygian says:
and really, Axel is the double agent, who changes sides to save Roxas..
wowsers.

the problem with gourmet poutine says:
i'd point out his fashion choices but they all wear that uniform
lawl
this is silly, you realise that

sailorlum pointed out in prof_snape that the words being sung by the choir in that HBP deleted scene (where Severus is standing so moodily and dramatically, among other things) are these:

In Noctem

Carry my soul into the night
May the stars light my way
I glory in the sight
As darkness takes the day

Ferte in noctem animam meam
Illustrent stellae viam meam
Aspectu illo glorior
Dum capit nox diem

Cantate vitae canticum
Sine dolore actae
Dicite eis quos amabam
Me numquam obliturum

Sing a song, a song of life
Lived without regret
Tell the ones, the ones I loved
I never will forget
Never will forget


I don't know if this was written specifically for the film, and I'm guessing in any case they meant it to foreshadow what's about to happen to one Albus Dumbledore, but still. *shivers*

Thats yer horoscope 4 2day by ~ChiboaTheRat on deviantART

*snickers*

If you have a hard time reading the pink text or in fact getting the joke at all, it says

CAPRICORN!!
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person
But you know they're lying
If I were you I'd lock my doors and windows
And never never never never never
Leave my house again

which is a snippet from a Weird Al song, "Your Horoscope For Today" (see this on YouTube for instance).

...lookigotnuthinitjustmademelaughokay??

So there's a deleted scene from HBP recently released that's making the rounds (first one here; the other two are behind the scenes clips I didn't watch), and it has a few seconds of fantastic dramatic Snape content prior to the Astronomy Tower scene, that you really gotta wonder why they cut out of the film, unless because it makes it too obvious that he doesn't want to do what he's about to do. But yeah, it's just oh, oh Severus *heart breaks*. If you don't care about the other two, here it is:

In the process of cancelling my Blu-ray order for the first two "ultimate editions", I actually read the list of the features and includes. I'd been focusing on the content of the discs, really, not looking at the rest of it, when trying to figure out if there was something the Blu-ray had that the DVD did not. Then I saw this:

Collectibles include: 48-Page Photo Book with never-before-seen images from Years 1-7 and 2 Ultimate Edition Character Cards (Card No. 3: Rubeus Hagrid, Card No. 4: Severus Snape)

I actually squeed. God, I'm such a fangirl. *eyeroll*

(Actually, I suppose it wasn't a given -- at two cards per film, that's only sixteen cards and he could easily have gotten left out. I wouldn't have put it past them.)

Snarry 3 by ~Umino-aka-Morskaya on deviantART

So sweet. I love Severus's glasses and apparent age and the contented familiarity in him ruffling Harry's hair.



Connichi 2009 - poking Snape by ~HowellJenkinsSama on deviantART

There are some other photos of this interesting Snape cosplay as well. Normally I would say that nose prosthesis takes it over the top into slightly cruel caricature, but somehow it really brings this particular costume together.



The Long Road by ~TGP on deviantART

I loved the moody colour and how a frightened child grows into a sullen teenager, a disaffected adult, and then a total mystery with his back turned to the viewer. Very simply drawn but quite effective.



The Banes of Her Existence by *Vizen on deviantART

This made me LOL IRL. Just look at Severus and Minerva's poses and expressions, and Albus's drink with the umbrella! Poor woman, being headmistress and sharing an office with those two...

( ten fic recs behind the cut: gen, Severus/Lily, Harry/Draco, Severus/Harry, Sirius/Harry )

Highly recommended bit of meta: The Fully Knowable Severus Snape by drinkingcocoa. I missed this at Azkatraz because it was in a 9 AM timeslot that I just couldn't drag myself out of bed for.

Making an RSS feed out of a search on deviantArt will feed you items which have that term anywhere in the whole deviation. That means you will get "news" items for things which have your search term in the artist comments or in the username itself, as well as the keywords. I have a feed set up for "Snape"; the false positives tend to mostly be other Harry Potter stuff (naturally). Sometimes I get photos people have taken in any of the various places in Britain called Snape (including at least one Snape Castle), which is vaguely amusing.

And sometimes... I get very incongruous things indeed: http://aeka-snape.deviantart.com/art/Oreo-128904204

http://community.livejournal.com/hbpmoviepics/98901.html

prawn_toast: Lol snape looks in a right huff XD
elethian: inorite? He's all like PUT THAT CAMERA DOWN BEFORE I HEX IT INTO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR BOWELS.

(I feel kind of bad now about all the Farrah Fawcett-hair remarks I've been making re: Alan's wig.)

Oh, also: I know some people are just naturally built like that so maybe I should keep my opinions to myself, but I really wonder if someone ought to offer Emma Watson a sandwich. Eesh.

It won't be long now by *mybreathingselfagain on deviantART

I just... *sob*

Bad Hair Day? by ~Myrine on deviantART

"Bad Hair Day"? Does the man ever have a good hair day? ;)

Severus' Shorts @ LJ: A brief celebration of Severus' birthdays!

Someone in hbpmoviepics mentioned that they found it amusing that the title text "Half-Blood Prince" was right over Severus on the one poster, and I joked that it needed a little scribbled arrow or something. Well, apparently I thought it was too giggle-worthy to let alone:



Sorry that he's kinda the half-"bloo" Prince, whatever that is, but you can barely see any of the D in the original poster anyway, so it becomes rather tiny at 100x100.

Feel free to yoink :)

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

Bonus crack!ficlet in this one, but beware of puns. Please wear appropriate safety equipment to avoid lethal exposure.

-----

The afterlife of Severus Snape and other characters. This is a religious story, believe it or not, but Sev does go "down south," but I love him anyway: .

All right, "The Devil Went Down to Hogwarts"! I love this song!

-----

After years of believing that he was dead, Severus Snape is seen by none other than Hermione Granger.

Unfortunately, she happens to see him just donning his silvery, translucent dressing gown after a ghostly shower. Insert girly squeal here.

They easily become friends, and maybe even more.

"Easily"? Must be AU then.

How many chances can one man truly get?

Well, how much money did one man truly put up for casino chips?

( Read more... )

for feyandstrange from this prompt, Five things Severus is No Longer Allowed To Do at Hogwarts, in the words of five other professors of Defence Against the Dark Arts. (A.K.A. "Snarky's List".)

( Read more... )

(nehalenia and feyandstrange, I haven't forgotten you, honest.)

OK, Mimi, take two on this. I felt pretty lame about the first attempt, especially since I had asked for a prompt for a birthday present, for f's sake. The comic-book idea was fun (and is recycled here), but the rest of it, frankly, flopped. Although I don't say that I wouldn't love to see drawings of Severus having something to do with spun sugar or recycling. ;)

This, on the other hand, kind of got away from me in terms of length, but you can't have everything. So without further ado, Five things that Severus Snape does only when he's absolutely certain that he's alone and unobserved (even by the portraits!) that he would be mortified if word got out about.

( Brooding, bathing, leisure reading, practicing handwriting, and painting. )

I think people have been doing better than usual lately, because it's taken me a while for me to build up even this many, and this only a half batch. (A full batch would be 10; I settled on that as a kind of standard to stop me building up huge pools of way-too-many, and now... this?)

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones, but they had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way. Sometimes the fics are horrible, but most frequently they're simply mediocre, and occasionally there's a perfectly good one that just had a funny slip-up in the summary.

-----

Hermione is a cheaufur's daughter who is in love with the young son of the wealthy family they serve. A re-telling of the 1950's movie 'Sabrina' with your favorite Harry Potter charaters

cheaufur n. Someone who wears a plush suit in the design of a car-driving manservant.

-----

(The entire summary. This one's not bad, but I was too amused by this idea.)

Another fragment of Snape.

Awesome! I've almost got the whole set. Better start making that Sticking Solution to assemble them with...

( Bonus crack!ficlets at the end of this one. )

bonus gift from the slightly-smut fairy for lilyevans_snape, who sneaked in an extra prompt: Five things that Severus Snape wanks to.

1. Red hair. Not with green eyes, mind; not with any eyes in particular, actually, because he can't see them. Just the red hair, soft between his fingers, seen from above the crown of the head as its owner's mouth slides hotly, slickly back and forth around his cock.

2. Sirius Black. Even as a post-Azkaban ruin, Severus can think of fewer quick-fixing recipes for a satisfying self-provided orgasm than the idea of Sirius Black bent over some convenient piece of furniture and yelping or groaning with each of Severus's thrusts. (And now that I've told you, he'll have to kill you. And me.)

3. Regulus and Lily and himself all together at once. There's no green eyes in this one, either, because here they're constantly closed in pleasure. Some part of him wonders if it's actually that he can't bring himself to look into them, if even in his own fantasies they would condemn him for all and everything.

4. Narcissa. He considers this one of his dirtier and more juvenile secrets, not because he really wants her (...much), but because he usually has her moaning about how much better he is than Lucius.

5. He is lying on something of deep crimson hue, providing the redness his lips do not to complete the old story's triad: hair as black as ebony, skin as fair as snow, lips as red as blood. Someone is there in the room with him, someone who can see him and hear him but not touch him. They watch and whimper and cannot help but touch themselves as he leans back and strokes his length, tosses back his dark head and exposes his throat in the throes of his own pleasure. He feels the heat of their desire, but knows that they can do nothing, that he is the one in power, and he glories in the feeling of their impossible lust for him.

There's a level 74 blood elf rogue running around on Eonar in WoW named "Snape".

I only know this because he just completed some quest or other, and my husband pointed out the notification line to me on his screen.

I'm amused that it's a rogue particularly, although that would be funnier if the name were actually Severus.

My world is very odd.